Emotion Isn’t the Enemy of Learning

Here is a damaging myth: kids need to be calm or “regulated” to learn.

People seem to want kids to be emotionally neutral in the classroom. The idea is that if they aren’t emotionally settled or calm (aka., emotionally regulated) then they cannot learn. False!

Cognitive processing does not require emotional neutrality. People are always thinking and feeling —emotion is not a barrier to learning (Pessoa, 2013). In many situations, it is a part of learning. While teacher warmth supports student wellness and engagement (McLean, 2025), the belief that children must be calm to learn is a myth!

Worse, a push for emotional neutrality could be damaging because emotions guide morality in kids (Arsenio, et al, 2010). And suppression of emotional expression and other attempts to calm down (rather than courageous feeling) are linked to clinical anxiety (Abdollahi, et al., 2022; Abramowitz, 2018; Lebowitz, 2019).

What can interfere with learning is not emotion itself, but hypervigilance—typically seen in extreme situations like life-threatening trauma, acute loss, or violence. In those moments, the brain prioritizes physical safety, not academics. Emotional flooding in the immediate aftermath may also temporarily impair functioning due to shock. But these are exceptions, not the norm. And it isn’t as though the mind ever stops working. Most of the time, even in the extreme cases, a book could even offer a helpful shift in focus after exposure to violence or frightening scenes, a bit of emotional distance - other things to think about.

Even in the extremes, bringing students into the structure of the classroom, the learning could be more beneficial than breaks from schoolwork or an overemphasis on their emotional lives. Again, this extreme situation is the exception, not the norm. I hate to even bring up these examples because of the tendency for society to think in the extremes, which are often irrelevant in the day to day. And also, as I noted, overtly and habitually trying not to feel may be damaging (Abdollahi, et al., 2022; Abramowitz, 2018; Lebowitz, 2019).

And most of the time, schooling is schooling. Usually kids don’t need to be distracted from their lives with learning—they simply need to be engaged in learning.

In both situations, from extreme trauma to typical emotionally charged experiences, offering the structure and engagement in learning is a good move. Don’t wait for calm. Emotions are not the enemy, they may even be your friend.

Yes, a teacher’s emotional tone may influence students’ attitudes toward learning (McLean, 2025, April)—but that’s not about the student’s emotions. It’s about the teacher’s emotional presence and the student’s buy-in. Emotional warmth supports engagement by fostering trust and motivation—not by suppressing emotion. So, why not teach with warmth. Why wait for calm? Because you’d be waiting forever.

In Massachusetts, only 40% of students reach reading proficiency by third grade. That’s not a failure of children. And emotions aren’t the reason, they are the product of repeated failure. Students need educators who are warm demanders, who engage high quality, rigorous instruction.

Abramowitz, J. S. (2018). Getting over OCD: A 10-step workbook for taking back your life (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.

Arsenio, W. F., & Lemerise, E. A. (Eds.). (2010). Emotions, aggression, and morality in children: Bridging development and psychopathology. American Psychological Association.

Lebowitz, E. R. (2019). Addressing parental accommodation when treating anxiety in children (ABCT Clinical Practice Series). Oxford University Press.

Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education. (2024). MCAS results.

McLean, L. (2025, April). Teachers’ emotional transmission affects student engagement. University of Delaware.

Pessoa, L. (2013). The cognitive-emotional brain: From interactions to integration. MIT Press.​​​